Recipe to ‘Success’
3 Ingredients

One question I hear all the time, “How do you do it?” It’s asked so often it actually gets to be somewhat annoying. The first response that almost always comes to mind is “how are you not?” Not in arrogance or pride. I know it’s hard and exhausting; but I also know it’s doable.

Today, as I sit in our patio chair in the dead heat of summer, I watch the kids playing contently with water squirters and slip & slides. I have worship music in the background and my Bible in my lap; everything seemingly so appealing. Even so, I find myself wondering that very annoying question, “How do we do it?” Considering how we went from continuous chaos to more and more occasions of calmness and contentment. How did we get to this place of perceived ‘success’?

Now don’t get me wrong, my life is far from perfect. We struggle with our kids’ behavior, we struggle financially from month to month and wonder how long we can sustain our current situation. I get frustrated, I get angry and I get annoyed more often than I’d like to admit. But lately, we’ve had more picture perfect moments than any other time in life. So I wonder ‘how.’ How did we get here and how do we maintain this state?

I’m left with the opinion that each person’s current state, whether good or bad, is influenced by three main ingredients.

1. Priorities - Once you understand what is important to you, you can intentionally work towards those priorities. When we embarked on this journey I made a physical list which I continue to return to from time to time. Among that list includes spiritual development, strengthening family bonds and healthy habits. Do we make the mark every hour of every day? Absolutely not. In fact we miss the mark way more than we achieve it. However on days we achieved a level of comfort, we gain hope in all the other moments. We now know it’s achievable. But you can’t get there if you haven’t defined where there is.

2. Response - Early in our marriage I remember my husband coming home with a book titled Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Well let me tell you I was insulted and definitely sweated the hidden message in that action. As I cleared my mind and was open to considering the teachings within the book, I had a new outlook. I wanted more insight into this idea and found another book called A Guide to Rational Living. It became clear that it is more important how we respond to circumstances rather than what actually happens. Controlling our response, puts us in control of our outcomes. Sometimes this gives the perception that we have all the luck. In actuality we have the exact same issues, we just choose to respond differently.

3. Opportunities - One of my main mottos in life is “We all have choices.” Every day we have choices and opportunities. We can choose to pursue or ignore. Knowing your priorities and practicing controlled responses will give you the confidence to seek opportunity. I hear all the time, ‘they are so lucky’ or ‘they are so smart.’ While there may be some truth in this, there is more to it. We all have choices, with those choices come opportunity. Seek opportunities, identify them when they do make their way to you and be ready to respond.


That’s it. While we can’t control what happens to us we can control how we respond. That response will be influenced by our priorities and our willingness to respond to opportunities aligned with our defined priorities.

So Now What

This all sounds great in theory but what can I do with it? I write this to my future self and invite anyone else to consider it as well.

If you find yourself in a rut, trying to figure out how to get past your current situation, consider these steps.

1. Redefine your priorities. Brainstorm what is important and make a physical list of these priorities. Order them by importance and refer to them often. Make decisions based on these priorities and surround yourself with like minded individuals.

2. Breath before responding. Call a friend who will give honest feedback and not make the situation even worse. Then respond appropriately. Consider picking up a book on this topic and read when things are good, so you know how to respond when things go bad. My personal favorite, for continued growth in this area, is the Bible.

3.Dare to be bold. Seek opportunities and act appropriately. Things can’t change if you’re not willing to make a move.

It’s tough, it’s exhausting, but it’s worth it. The moments of perceived perfection melt away all the other attempts. You’ll find yourself striving more for those great moments. The more you strive for great moments, the more often you’ll find yourself wrapped up in them. You can’t win the lottery if you don’t play.